Cobwebs in my brain (2)


shallow focus of spider web
Photo by on


Here I am.

I’m going crazy again.

I’m losing my mind

in a sense.

Because of my monsters,

the monsters that live
deep inside of my head.


My demons

unravel my nerves

and play jump rope.

And as they skip across fine lines,

I suddenly lose hope.

And when I lose hope

I can’t recall who I am anymore.


Such a ghostly face I see before me

as I stare blankly at my reflection.

There is only

pure emptiness

in the flesh.


quite haunting

in a sense.


Desperate emotions.

Cloudy judgement.

My perception is now faulted

even at its best.

I tried to see through blurred vision

And now there’s this hole blown right through my chest.

You can see all my insides, I bet.


Gun shots reaching for my soul.




drips onto the concrete floor.

My body crumbles

like dirt between finger tips

on to the ground.

My soul is screaming.

But I am alone.

No longer to be found.


Here I am.

I am going crazy again.

I am surrounded by nothing; by no one

accompanied by silence.





My ears bleed.

And my demons

just smear it across my brain

while they scramble my thoughts in vain.


I am their fuel and they are my fire,

My demons.

They eat me alive every day

like I’m cocaine.

I am everything they desire.

Their fuel,

My fire.


Here I am.

I’ve gone crazy again.

Time is spinning out of control

And I don’t seem to give a damn.

All I’ve been left with

is a sense of death.

Is it over?

A voice says, “don’t fret.”


I wish I could rest

but have we forgotten about this hole in my chest?


I wipe the blood from my ears.

I pin up my hair.

Clean up is always messy

in these situations.

All the toxicity

in these situations.


I pick up my heart off the ground

with my skin,

with my veins,

and my scar tissue.

I tie my nerves together

to the very last one,

I tie a knot and a bow.

I gather my things

and I go.


Music to inspire this post:

Manchester Orchestra- “gold”

Missio “bottom of the deep blue sea”




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