Each of my abusers tore down my character and made me feel like I was such a wasted piece of shit. Turns out, they were the pieces of shit. They projected all of their insecurities onto my being and all of that toxic sludge absorbed into my soul and I was so unhealthy and so unhappy. I was broken down by them constantly. Every single day, pieces of myself were thrown into a garbage disposal, never to be seen the same way again.
What a mess my life had become. I believed the worst of the worst only loved me and just wanted what was best for me. I believed that they knew what was right for me so I allowed them to twist me into this puppet for them to play with and discard over and over again. I lost my sense of self. I lost touch with reality.
The day that I cut the strings and walked away for good, I will never forget because the empowerment that walked beside me that day was ENORMOUS.
I could have moved mountains that day.
I don’t talk about those feelings as much but I should. Sure, it’s good for the healing process to remember what you went through and validate those days and put words next to all of the emotions that were strung along. But you know what, it is also healthy for the healing process to remember HOW AMAZING it felt to f e e l your soul scream, “ENOUGH!!”
Remember how you felt when you walked away and took control of your life and began loving yourself for once. It is an incredible feeling when you finally open your eyes and see that the worst of the worst kinda people are not your people, that you deserve better.
No longer should you shy away from the possibility of being truly happy.
YOU TAKE BACK YOUR POWER and then blast holes through the distorted reality you’ve been conditioned to see.
You WILL win the biggest battle you’ve ever faced the day you save yourself.
I need to be proud of myself for all I’ve accomplished, for all I’ve done to give myself the life that I deserve. I walked away for my own damn good. That is a big deal!!
And if you’ve ever walked away from an abuser, I hope you are proud of yourself too.
Us survivors, we are as strong as they come.
Talk about the empowerment you feel after walking away from abuse more often than not.
Show gratitude towards yourself, who is your true hero.