The eclipse is coming, the energy is majorly off and raw and I am shedding more skin on a soulful, cellular level during this time and I am beyond exhausted. I find myself wanting more alone time than usual to not only dissect the “problem” but also to try and come up with any sort of solution. I know that these “things” will all work themselves out. I know I’ll be ok eventually because I always am. I am always fine in the end. I do not break. But I do bend over backwards too many times, sometimes. So I need a fuxking break from everyone and every thing…every mundane task in life including small talk and putting others needs before my own. I should never come last and so forgive me if I decide to do something about that. I feel like the response is always “I hope you feel better soon,” instead of “take all the time you need.” And that’s fine because I cannot expect anyone to have the right words when I rarely have them myself…but…how can I then respond properly? “Yes, I hope so too…now leave me be and let me sort this out in peace.”
*sigh*…I just become cold in times like this, I guess. I push everyone away and it’s taken personally. It isn’t personal. But this is how I function some times. Introspection. This is how I handle heavy energy. If I feel like I can’t breathe then I go to where it is easier to find more oxygen…somewhere away from a crowded room…somewhere by myself. I do better by myself when the energy becomes chaotic, I think.
These are thoughts floating around my head this morning as I sip my coffee. Not to be taken personally. Just to be aired out for my own sanity & well being.
If I don’t write it out then the words clutter in my brain and that doesn’t do me any good.
You think I am insane?
Darling, get in line. -A+H