Hopeless Fool

I wish you would have let me in. I wish you would have believed me all the times that I said I’d be there for you. We were a team. At least, we were supposed to be. And I know that there were many times that I was completely self absorbed with my own problems but I would have done anything to help you through yours just as you always did anything to help me through mine. I miss you so much. You were in my dreams last night. It was too much. I woke up unsure of where I was at first because the dreams felt so real and I kept hoping you’d be lying next to me and that I’d feel your weight against me. But once the fog lifted, I realized I had simply drifted into a fantasy land, one where you didn’t leave me and we got through everything together, as it should be. Sometimes I wish I could hate you. It would make this whole getting over you thing easier but how could I ever hate you? I wish you were here. I wish you hadn’t left. I never thought you’d ever leave me. Does that sound selfish? I don’t care. I never thought you’d go away. I wouldn’t have gone away. I was here to stay, through darkness and light, through good and bad times. I would have tackled them all with you. I would have because I love you. More than I ever loved anyone. But I guess that wasn’t enough. You desired more and I didn’t add up. I hope you are doing okay. I keep hoping you will come back some day, like a fool. I am such a hopeless fool for you.

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