Because the truth is,

I’m fucking terrified

to reveal who I am at night

when all the lights are turned off

and the darkness within is unleashed.

I’m not as pretty then as I usually feel.

Such a senseless thought,

but it’s one that is real.

My demons are filthy.

My heart stews in bloody wreckage.

I’m a total mess, don’t you get it?

I’m terrified for anyone to see that again.

Because the last time

someone saw my darkness

they ran

and I can’t handle another loss like that.

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