33

Today is my birthday and it is quite honestly the most peaceful one I’ve had in years. I’m 33 today and for the first time in a long time, my soul feels whole instead of shattered; my heart beats and there is no longer any pain attached to the rhythm. This is the calm I’ve been yearning for. This is the peace I’ve been craving. This is the birthday I’ve been waiting for. I hope 33 treats me well. I hope this year brings many blessing, not just to myself/selves but to my son as well. I hope for better days. I pray for positive movement instead of negative stagnation. I did not expect to be spending my birthday this way…in a new state, a new city, without him, without my friends. But…I am okay with it. Because for the first time in forever I’m spending my birthday with my parents and I’m under sunny skies and my son is by my side and we are on a healthier path, we are living in better circumstances and I am beyond thankful for that. So I pray this continues, the peace, the healing. I know this new beginning is scary but I think it’ll be the best one yet. I know it will be. I can feel it in my soul. I can feel it in my bones…the moments I’ve been searching for…they’re here.