redundancy

I’ve realized something…your respect for me is long gone.

You really are done.

I am not your priority any longer.

It’s so clear, I mean, you don’t even bother

to respond to me

more than you feel is fit.

I ask you a question.

You give me a short answer.

And then you’re done with it.

For so many years, I was on the front burner.

And then suddenly, I was moved towards the back.

And now,

I’m not even sitting on the stove anymore.

In fact,

I think I’ve been moved to the trash.

You’re not even storing me in the back of your cabinets.

You’re simply done

with me.

It’s been so clear

to see

but denial

has blinded me.

No longer though…

no longer.

I’ve realized

your respect for me is long gone.

I think it has been for awhile

but I was numb.

I feel everything now.

In fact, it’s almost like I’m floating on a cloud,

your silence has been so loud,

its volume has been uplifting.

Maybe that won’t make sense or anything

but when I think about the last six months

and the fact that you withdrew your presence

slowly,

little by little,

march by march,

your rhythm shifted,

that much

I know.

You gave up on us.

And I’m so stupid

to think that maybe

you’d come back

and declare

your love.

I have to face the truth.

That’s not going to happen now.

I’ve been playing the same scenario

over and over again

in my head

and it’s exhausting

and costly.

I need to face the facts.

You’re not coming back.

You’ve had time to miss me

and if you really wanted me

you’d stop allowing time

to rip us apart.

You wouldn’t continue to let that be

reality.

You’ve removed me from your stove.

You have no need for me anymore.

What a fool

I have been

to think that maybe

this was all a mistake.

I imagine

your life is easier now

without the burden of me.

God, I hope you’re happy.

But

also,

go to hell.

Fuck you

for making me fall

for you

while having no intention

of holding your end

of what you said you’d do