Hard truth to swallow

It wasn’t until I was laughing hysterically with an old friend that I realized how much I had been spiraling over the last 22 months. I realized a hard truth, one that’s been really tough to swallow but with time, I will get it down. I haven’t been happy. I’ve been trying. I’ve been pretending. I’ve been doing what I can to get by. But really, no matter how hard I tried to deny, there’s no getting past this new found reality…I haven’t been happy for a really long time. It wasn’t until my cheeks hurt from smiling and my belly hurt from laughing that I realized THIS is what happiness feels like. Now I remember. And this isn’t to say that I was never happy with the life that I had…it’s just…somewhere along the path…the sparkle left my eyes and I wasn’t full of life anymore. That’s a tough thing to admit… but admit, I must.

It’s time for me to fall in love with myself and enjoy life again. I deserve nothing less than this pure gold I’m now calling my happiness.

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