My last post was intense. I apologize for my outburst. However, clearly, I needed to vent those feelings out. I’ve had a tough few months. Since August I have been a little too negative, a little too hard on myself, a little too angry and really really sad. In August I lost my dog of 12 years. Since then, I haven’t been myself. I haven’t been the same. I haven’t been okay. It sucks losing a beloved pet. It sucks when that animal has been in your life and grown with you. A decade is a long time and I miss her more and more every day. But the grief is subsiding lately. I’m not as frustrated with life. I was so angry at life. So angry at the universe for taking her away. I’ve been pissed off at the world. Not just because of the loss of my dog but because I’ve lost so much more. I’ve lost friends, family, myself….and I’ve been pissed about all of that. I’ve taken it out on myself, on others, on the universe, on my spirit guides. I’ve been cruel. I’ve let the tragedy of life turn my heart cold. This is not okay but…I am not perfect. I have flaws. I falter. I fall sometimes.
Still, my outbursts need to be taken under control. I’ve had a tough go of things lately but that’s life. Things could be worse. I need to focus on the positive. I need to focus on what helps me heal.
So, this is my quick apology to anyone who read that grim post. I don’t regret posting it but I do wish I had come to terms with shit sooner. But healing takes time for me. a lot of time.
One thing I am going to stay true to though is that I will always post my thoughts here no matter how dark. If that scares anyone away then that’s a simple hint that those people aren’t meant to follow my journey and that’s just fine.
It’s okay to be angry.
It’s okay to freak out and break down.
It’s okay because I am only human.
i am only human.
Alien thoughts 11:22 am